Look, the Hectic podcast is one of those gems that gives you a new favorite every week. But when I say that this week’s episode with Lindsey Jo Scott is my absolute, impossible-to-beat favorite, I mean it.
If you haven’t listened to it yet, find the time to put it on while you’re driving, working out, cooking, or finishing up your taxes. You really don’t want to miss this one.
One thing that really stood out from this episode was the discussion about mindfulness. Though it has become a bit of a stigmatized cliche, mindfulness is so much more than the buzzword we often see it as.
Lindsey described it as finding a deeper sense of time and a truer sense of being at your core. It’s letting go of shame and fear and shoulds to settle into yourself and honor what you find there.
There are endless ways to practice mindfulness in your life. Over the past few months, I’ve been working with my counselor to stop seeing life as something to get through and start actively pursuing my best life. Mindfulness has been a core part of this process, so I wanted to share some of the revelations I’ve had in hopes they’ll help you too.
You may always be your own worst critic, but treating yourself poorly will only lead to more negativity and struggles. No matter how you feel about something you did or said, ask yourself, “Would I treat someone I love like this? How would I feel if someone said these things to them?”
When I catch myself in moments of negative or hurtful self-talk, my counselor recommends rewinding and telling myself what I would say to someone else in the same situation. She recommends saying it out loud, which feels silly but makes it stick more.
It’s also important to discourage any shame or guilt about your negative feelings. Emotions are healthy, even if they may not be beneficial in the moment. Acknowledge them, feel them, and let them have their place. Then, remind yourself of the truth. As you practice this self-awareness and positive treatment more, it will be easier to catch the spiral of negativity before it starts.
We live in a world that discourages the simplicity of being. When we are surrounded by shows, movies, podcasts, news, social media, games, events, and so much more that update every second, we don’t have room to just sit and check in with ourselves. In fact, we’ve pretty much redefined quiet as boredom. If we don’t have some sort of stimulation, we get anxious and uncomfortable.
Though it’s hard to get away from every noise, make the conscious choice to seek quiet when you can. Take a walk outside and seek out the small things you might’ve missed otherwise. Sit in silence or with classical music rather than watching or listening to something that demands your attention. Give your brain time to rest as you sit with yourself and focus on how you’re really doing.
If we don’t take the time to understand our wants and needs, we can’t meet them. We can’t do the things that align with our values and we get burnt out trying to be something we’re not. The more we get stuck in the shoulds, the less we have to give to the things that matter.
For Lindsey, being mindful of what she needed meant going to therapy and eventually getting diagnosed with autism and ADHD. It gave her the courage to seek help and the chance to find freedom through it.
For Darryl, it meant finding a new perspective on ADHD and learning to embrace it as the superpower it is.
For Michelle, it meant discovering where she shines and surrounding herself with people that see how she fits into the team and make room for her there.
When you can understand how your wants and needs align, even (or especially) if it’s not what you “should” do, you can make healthier, better choices. And as you learn more about who you are, you can bring that person more authentically into the world.
Get the full story here to learn more about Lindsey, what “all brains are beautiful” looks like in action, and how to achieve internal success.