with Terri Lomax

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TW: In this episode, Darryl and Terri share their stories which contain talk about past abuse.

Sometimes the most unexpected meetings are exactly what you need to understand yourself a little more. That was certainly the case with this week’s episode. Though I met Terri Lomax for the first time when we recorded, we soon found that we connected on a deeper level than I’d anticipated.

Both of us have spent years learning about ourselves, how our adversity-filled childhoods continue to affect us as adults, and what we want to change for the people that come after us. In this raw, vulnerable episode, we explore our journeys to understanding, accepting, and healing what we’ve endured.

In a conversation that left us in tears, we go deep into our stories, hoping that doing so helps you find the validation and healing you might need too.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  1. About Terri’s podcast, where she dives into taboo topics to make them more approachable and to facilitate healing within them.
  2. How dating herself helped Terri uncover and develop her identity after years of being a social chameleon.
  3. More about my own childhood, including how my parents’ choices affected my development and led to a similar social chameleon defense mechanism.
  4. Why both of our traumatic upbringings robbed us of the ability to ask what we want, something we had to learn through therapy and self-discovery as adults.
  5. To fill your cup first so you can be more present and capable of showing up for the other people and needs in your life.
  6. How I’m using my journey through imposter syndrome to create systems that can lessen the same struggle for my children and other freelancers.
  7. The ways our childhoods prepared us for the challenges in life, plus ways that we can harness these skills in the workplace.
  8. Which grace practices Terri uses to heal the self-hatred created by childhood abuses.
  9. To talk to and treat yourself with love so you can demand the same level of respect from others.
  10. That feeling emotions, both positive and negative, is such an important part of healing and living a wholehearted life.

Tennielle Clark host of She Speaks Bougie introduced us to Terri. The episode with the two of them together is here.
The episode of Cultivating H. E. R. Space that Darryl recommended on sisterhood is The Importance of Sisterhood and Friendship to Black Women with Bethany Hawkins.
Find Terri's free podcasting masterclass at
The book Terri talks about is Self-Esteem: A proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, improving, and maintaining your self-esteem by Matthew McKay, PhD, and Patrick Fanning.

Find Terri on her website and on Instagram.

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